Another day, another social media-related ignominy.
I've now been press-ganged into liveblogging at an event themed with a giant purple and yellow penis, at which drunken PR people are being actively encouraged to taunt me, fight with me and 'stroke my multi-coloured fur'.
I was thinking of asking to be put in a cage for my own safety, but I have a feeling that might not raise the tone of the proceedings any.
Fortunately my good chum Andrew Smith will be on hand to keep the crowd at bay, armed with his natural wit, gravitas and profound insight into the dynamics of the modern technology public relations industry.
I just hope I manage to post something decent before I'm bottled off the stage with a free sample of Dogs Bollocks Reserve Premier Cru.
(If anyone reading is attending the Flackenhacks on 23rd October, I look forward to seeing you there, and to documenting your antics for posterity.)